![]() ![]() They can practice in a safe spot with somebody before they go in and actually have the conversation. And I encourage a lot of the teams that I work with that if they're stuck in a situation like that, where they have to have a difficult conversation, whether it's a coaching conversation or something along that line, persuasion comes into coaching conversations all the time, that they can practice with me, right. It takes practice, it's not a comfortable conversation when you're first starting. That the ability to react with respect and integrity and with a sense of optimism in the situation, those should be the kinds of skills that people should be developing before a tough conversation and not that sense of manipulation. I think the idea of moving into a tough conversation, believing that you can manipulate it, is almost a surefire formula for failure. I think those are some of the things that I talk to people about before going into these conversations. ![]() So I think communication skills, I think practicing what you're going to say so that it makes sense to you, you believe it, you're enthusiastic about it even in a tough conversation going into that. I believe in practice for almost everything, but especially in these situations where you practice that ability to take a difficult idea and clarify it and articulate it, where you practice keeping your emotions under control, where you do all those communication skills that Professor Gonzalez teaches to young professionals in terms of how to make a serious point in a conversation. And so whether it's with the little voice in the back of your head that you practice this tough conversation or whether you say, Hey Professor Gonzalez, can I have a few minutes of your time, I've got a real challenge coming up, can I run through how I'm going to start a conversation with one of my bosses? I think practicing can really help. Anything worth doing is worth practicing. ![]() Let's hear how some of our experts prepare for difficult conversations. I find that pretty helpful in thinking about these conversations and in preparing for them. And so you may get a disproportionate reaction, one that you perhaps weren't prepared for. So sometimes when you're having a conversation at the what happened level, gosh you did this, you did that, what's happening is that the other person's feelings and identity may be triggered. And then there's the underlying Identity conversation, maybe I am an idiot, maybe I'm. One is the Feelings conversation, I feel like an idiot when he says that. One is the What Happened conversation, did too, did not. They teach that in any difficult conversation there are actually three levels of conversation going on. ![]() The book is primarily aimed at difficult conversations in your personal life, and there's a concept out of it that I find particularly helpful for understanding some of the really difficult conversations at work. They all work at the Harvard Project in Negotiation and this came out of their work in that project. One of the concepts that I find particularly useful to know about comes out of a book called Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen. And there are some things that a number of our experts are going to share about how they go about doing that, because these are hard conversations to have and they make us worry and they make the other people worry. As you begin to have difficult conversations and you've prepared yourself, then comes the specific preparation for specific conversations. The prerequisites for this course are Courses One and Two of the Specialization "Professional IQ: Preventing and Solving Problems at Work". contribute to crafting a working environment you want to work in state your own mission and plan with confidence We’ll go on to look at self-assessment and leadership planning, negotiation, addressing and resolving conflict, and successfully identifying and promoting circumstances you want. Listening and being sure of your values underpins everything that comes with professional influencer and leadership soft skills. Make a plan for yourself that will help you help others, and learn skills to make it happen. Now, use those tools to influence the course of your future, your team's future, and your organization's future. The only thing you get to change is yourself, and in the prerequisites to this course we’ve given you real tools to do that. ![]()
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